this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
