Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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