His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
