the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
