She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
