After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
