dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
