Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
