She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize