I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
