You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
