I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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