I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
