swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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