I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
