I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
