The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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