D3 body, D1 cock
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
