We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
