well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize