also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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