he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
