I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
