I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize