I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
