the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
