Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
