he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
