I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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