I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
