Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
