I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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