I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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