grandma shit on top of the toilet
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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