he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
love makes seman taste better
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
