My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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