? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
