he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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