need another drink. this is the easiest way
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
