dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
