there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
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You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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