I just made out with a guy for $7.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
