dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
