totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize