I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize