So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
