did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
