I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
