every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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