So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
