Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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