Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
