3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
