She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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