Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
