i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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