# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
