He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.