she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
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How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY