Betty ford says i'm here all night
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.