how can u be prego again
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
