oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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