Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
