the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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