I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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